Duplicity
by thebazilelord
Summary: Written for the lovely Lou (Inkycoffee)! Thanks for the prompt! Prompt: Josh is brought in for questioning for a case. Later, after being cleared, he confronts Castle to ask if he has a chance of getting back with Beckett since she and Castle aren't together, letting slip that Beckett knows exactly how Castle feels about her.


_**Written for the lovely Lou (Inkycoffee)! Thanks for the prompt!**_

 _ **Prompt: Josh is brought in for questioning for a case. Later, after being cleared, he confronts Castle to ask if he has a chance of getting back with Beckett since she and Castle aren't together, letting slip that Beckett knows exactly how Castle feels about her.**_

 _ **Disclaimer. Castle is not and never will be mine.**_

 _ **Thanks to the amazing bunysliper for betaing, as well as everyone else who helped me get this going!**_

 _May 2011_

Three days have passed since Kate Beckett sent her partner out of her hospital room with a lie and a promise to call. Every time she closes her eyes, she can see the dejected look on his face as she told him she didn't remember her shooting and the slumped lines of his shoulders as he walked out of her hospital room, his tense posture radiating hurt and disappointment - rejection. All things that she put there and wishes more than anything that she could take back.

Yet no matter how much she wants to pick up the phone to call him, to apologize and tell him the truth, she just can't bring herself to do it.

He tried to take a bullet for her and this is how she's repaying him. She's such a coward. He deserves so much more and she wishes more than anything that she could give it to him.

He told her he _loves_ her. And she shoved him away.

A knock on her hospital room door pulls her out of her self-deprecation and she looks up to find Josh standing in the doorway. For a moment, she'd dared to hope that her visitor was Castle, refusing to walk away from her, but she knew that it was futile to do so. Still, she can't help but feel a pang of disappointment when it's Josh who walks in instead of her partner. She should feel guilty for not wanting her boyfriend there, but she doesn't.

"Hey, Kate," he says, pulling up a chair next to her bed. "How are you feeling?" He takes her hand and begins rubbing his thumb over the top of her palm.

"I'm fine, I guess," she shrugs, instantly wincing at the searing pain the simple motion causes in her chest. She closes her eyes, lips pressed together in a thin white line, taking deep breaths through her nose, waiting for the pain to slowly recede. If Josh notices, he doesn't say anything about it.

"So I was thinking," he starts. "My work schedule is busy, but I'll take some days off to help you recover...I want to come with you when you are released in a few days and help you settle into your dad's cabin. You have a physical therapist set up out there, right?"

"Josh," Kate sighs. "That's really sweet of you. But you don't have to do that. My dad is going to be there with me." She really doesn't want to do this right now. She's dreading it. But she needs to get this over with, needs to make her conscience clean.

"No, really. It's alright. I want to do this. I want to spend the time with you," he says. The soft smile on his face sends a pang of guilt through her chest over what she is about to do.

"No, what I mean is, you don't have to do _this._ Us."

His smile falls, and she averts her eyes to her lap, unable to bear the look on his face. "What-what does that mean?" he asks quietly.

"I'm saying that I can't do this anymore. This relationship, it isn't working anymore."

"Kate, I thought we had something real here." His voice is strained, tinged with disappointment.

"No you didn't, Josh. I think we've known this was coming for a while. We were just both too stubborn to admit it."

"This is because of Castle, isn't it," Josh bites, spitting out her partner's name in disgust. He doesn't give her a chance to speak before continuing, "Kate, he got you _shot._ You do realize that, don't you? This whole damn thing happened because he can't mind his own business. And suddenly you want to jump into his arms?"

The accusations feel like a slap to the face. He might as well be blaming her and anger flares in her chest, a fierce need to defend her partner. "Don't you dare blame Castle for this," she hisses. "He is not the one that shot me. He is the one who has been there for me when I've been at my lowest, and don't for a second pretend that you know anything about what goes on between us."

"Then tell me what's going on. If you're ending this, then I at least deserve to know why." The words are quiet, yet the steel behind them is undeniable.

Kate squeezes her eyes shut, breathing heavily. A wave of exhaustion washes over her. A dull throbbing that she had managed to keep at bay begins to build in her chest until it's a burning ache. She really doesn't want to talk about this right now, but knows it will only fester if she waits.

"He told me he loved me, okay? As I was lying there… it was at the absolute wrong time, but he said it. And I… I've known it, Josh. I've known it for a long time, but now that he's said it, it makes it... real. So I can't do this anymore. I can't hurt him any more than I already have." Any more than what she is doing right now. She is hurting her partner with her lies and her silence. Hypocrite.

"So you're going to break my heart instead?"

With that statement, all of her bravado crumbles. She slumps further into the mattress, failing hide her wince as pain licks up her sides. "I'm sorry." There's nothing else she can say that won't make things worse.

He's quiet for a long moment before he responds, his eyes wandering around the room, finally meeting hers.

"You love him too, don't you?" he replies flatly. It isn't a question.

She swallows thickly, but doesn't respond, allowing the silence to answer for her.

"I guess this is it then," Josh says quietly, the sadness palpable in his voice.

She lets out an exhausted sigh, feeling slightly guilty for this whole messed up situation.

"For the record Josh, I am sorry."

He stands there for a few seconds, staring at her with mournful eyes before he gives her a stiff nod and turns for the door. "Goodbye, Kate."

* * *

 _March 2012 (Present day)_

Castle stares at the familiar man sitting across from him and Beckett at the interrogation room table, trying to hide his disdain. He still could not believe that their victim was closely connected with the man he'd spent the past year trying to forget.

Doctor Josh Davidson. Dr. Motorcycle Boy, Mr. Extraordinaire. Suspect in Chief.

Castle can tell by the tight set of his jaw and the hardness of his eyes that Josh is angry, and the pair sit in stony silence.

It doesn't take words for Castle to know exactly how Josh feels about him, the anger and resentment from that day in the hospital has not dissipated in the least. Whatever, he's still here and Josh isn't, right? Kate chose him.

The doctor is strangely calm, however, when Beckett walks through the door and slaps the case file onto the table. He expected the man to be furious when she walked into the hospital and slapped on the cuffs. Instead he gave her a cocky self-confident grin as if it was any regular day.

And it is the same smile Josh flashes at her as she sits down next to Castle and asks if he knows why he's there.

"Of course, I have a very particular connection with your victim and you think I might have something to do with it." He gives Kate a playful little wink and Castle can feel his blood start to boil. _The cocky little asshole._ Castle thinks as he tries to look unperturbed.

But if it bothers Kate, she doesn't show it. In fact, she doesn't show the slightest hint of recognition towards the man, nor any reaction to his advances. The territorial part of him flares as he sits up straighter, leaning into the man's space and giving him a sneer while Beckett is looking away. Josh's grin only gets wider and Castle wants nothing more than to wipe it off his face.

Okay so he's being a bit irrational. But Josh doesn't get to walk into the precinct, as a suspect no less, and act like he belongs here, throwing his predatory little glances at Beckett. No, that does not fly with him at all.

He scoots a little closer to her, giving her a quick smile when she gives him a confused glance before clearing her throat and getting down to business, and he turns his own challenging smile back towards Josh.

"Dr. Davidson, what exactly is your connection to Mrs. Halloway?"

* * *

Castle has to admit that he's at least a little bit disappointed that Josh isn't their killer. He knows that it's petty, and an awful thought to have, but he still remembers their last confrontation as if it had happened yesterday. He can still feel the rough shove of Josh's hands, and the memory of his harsh accusations are still burned in his brain. That was ten months ago.

And Castle doesn't even want to think about Josh and Beckett, even though he knows that they broke up almost a year ago.

Castle is busy fiddling with the espresso machine to make Beckett and himself some fresh coffee, when Josh waltzes in.

"Hey, Castle," the doctor says, giving him a stiff nod.

"Josh," he replies tersely.

"It's been a while."

"Almost a year." he responds, unable to keep the hint of coolness out of his voice.

"Kate looks good."

Castle takes a slow sip of his coffee before responding, already finding himself irritated with the man. He hates how relaxed he seems, leaning against the counter as if he belongs here. He wishes the man would just get to the point already so he can leave.

"She does. It's taken a lot of work on her part to get where she is." he bites out, doesn't really know why he feels the need to stand up for her.

"You're proud of her," the doctor observes. Castle doesn't see how that's relevant.

"I am."

"But...you two aren't… together are you?" Josh says, giving Castle a once-over, as if he is trying to assess him.

"Excuse me?" he splutters, nearly spitting out his coffee.

"You and Kate. I assumed after she broke up with me that she would go running straight to you, but either that never happened, or you guys aren't as committed to each other as she thought you were."

Castle has to tamper down the anger that suddenly flares up in his chest.

"You are way out of line," Castle retorts, voice low but threatening. "You have absolutely no right to speak about our commitment to each other. Secondly, what would ever make you assume that she would come running to me?" He wishes more than anything else that Kate really had turned to him after her shooting, and he has to pretend that the doctor's assumption doesn't hurt as much as it does.

"Oh, come on, I'm not stupid," Josh retorts. "I've seen how you two area around each other. Not only today in the interrogation room, but last year too how you looked at each other; the way she talked about you. Besides, she told me what you said when she was shot. That's why she broke up with me in the first place." Castle's heart plummets, and he finds that he is no longer hearing the doctor's words as a cacophony of thoughts swirl through his brain. _She knows. She knew. This whole time she knew what I said, that I love her._

Not only did she lie to him for months, she's still lying to him. Playing him like the fool he is.

"Castle?" the doctor asks, snapping him back to attention.

"Um...what?" he rasps.

"I said, that since I'm assuming you're not together, then I have a chance to get back together with her. I mean, I never really got over her, so if I still have a chance…"

"No, no, you're right, we're not - we're not together. She's all yours." he replies hastily. He feels the crushing walls of grief begin to cave in on him, and suddenly, he can't be in the room anymore. He has to get out.

He mumbles a lame excuse about having to go see if the boys have found anything about the case and bolts from the room.

* * *

When Kate strides back into the bullpen from the ladies room, she notices that there are two things very wrong about the sight before her. One is that Castle is nowhere to be seen, and two, Josh is sitting in _his_ chair, looking all too smug as he fiddles with the pens by her computer.

She gets a sickening feeling in her gut when he senses her coming and looks up to give her the same smirk that he had on his face for the entire interrogation. He stands once he sees her approach her desk.

"Kate, it's been so good to see you again. You look...really good," he says as his eyes scan up and down her body.

She gives him a tight-lipped smile and a slight dip of her head in acknowledgement. "That's nice and all, but uh, what are you doing here?"

"How about we go somewhere a bit more… private." She rolls her eyes, but she leads him into the conference room and shuts the doors, not bothering to close the blinds. She motions for him to speak.

He gives her what she can only describe as a wolfish look that makes her stomach roll. "I was thinking that, since I am no longer a murder suspect, we could go out for drinks, catch up a bit and maybe...give us another shot. Since you obviously wisened up and saw what a bad decision it would be to be with him."

Her eyes lock onto his, her jaw tight. "What? You've been here for less than two hours. How do you know anything about what has happened between us over the past year."

Josh squares his shoulders. "Oh come on, it's obvious you two aren't together; the _longing_ way he looks at you and how you seem to hold yourself away. C'mon, any fool could see it. Besides, I just asked Writer Boy and he basically confirmed it."

"He what? Wait, when did you talk to Castle? Where did he go?" She was beginning to feel very uneasy.

Josh simply shrugs. "I asked him if you guys were together and he acted all confused, so when I mentioned that we broke up because he said he loved you and you felt all guilty and whatever, he said that you guys were not together. Come to think of it he was acting a bit strange…"

Kate feels like she's been socked in the gut. "You said _what_ to him?"

He narrows his eyes at her. "What, was that some big secret or something?"

Kate can't seem to find the right words and when she doesn't respond Josh just shakes his head. "It is, isn't it. Wow Kate, you break up with me for him and then you lie to him after he confesses his heart to you? That's just... that's just cruel Kate. If I were him, I'd bolt too."

Its as if all the air has been sucked out of the room. "I wasn't... I wasn't ready."

Josh just looks at her for a while, the cocky man from before dissipating. "Well if you aren't ready to go and put everything out in the open now, then I don't think you'll have any hope of getting him back at all."

She's angry suddenly, furious at the gall he has to lecture her about Castle. "Shut up, Josh, I think you've done enough damage," she says through gritted teeth, her voice steely despite the churning in her stomach.

Josh scoffs. "Me? I think the person to blame here is you. It's your lie that caused it. I just told him what I thought he already knew"

"You shouldn't have said anything at all!" She was almost yelling now, fighting to keep the angry tears at bay. "You had no right! None. What goes on with me and Castle is between us, and you know that! You know how I feel and you decided to accost him anyway."

She swallows hard and screws her eyes shut, taking deep breaths through her nose. How could this have gotten so screwed up?

Josh's jaw clenches and his eyes turn stony. "If you had just _told_ him in the first place and maybe, I don't know, _asked_ him to wait instead of just leading him on, then we wouldn't be having this problem."

Kate presses her eyes with the heels of her hands and groans, "I don't have time for this Josh. Just leave. I need to...I gotta go."

She doesn't wait for an answer as she spins on her heels and bolts out the door, ripping her jacket off her chair as she goes. She knows exactly where to find him. At least, she hopes to God she does.

* * *

He stumbles into the Old Haunt, making a quick retreat to his office, stopping only to ramble a message off to his bartender about not letting anyone know he's there. As soon as the door closes he pours himself two fingers of scotch and collapses in his chair.

He presses his fists into his eyes, trying desperately to contain the grief that is threatening to crush him. How could he be such a goddamn fool?

He had thought, after this summer, after she came back to him and invited him back into her life, that it meant something, that they were going somewhere. He had thought that everything was going really well between them.

He thinks back to a few cases ago, with the fairy-tale murders, how she had smiled at him, and how she had grabbed his hand throughout his mother's performance. Was that just a lie as well? Just a ruse to get him to stay? Is that all this entire year has been?

He takes another swig of the amber liquid, relishing the burn as it slides down his throat. Thinking back on it, it all makes sense. Cutting him out of her life for three months, only to return when he had information that she needed. She never wanted him back, she just wanted her loyal puppy. Always following at her heels and overly eager to help. Someone from which she could take and take and never give anything back.

And He doesn't understand why she would do this. After more than three years of being by her side, of supporting her through her darkest times. After everything they have been through together. He thought that he had meant _something._ He thought he was her partner. Yeah, right.

But in reality, he's no more than an annoyance, always distracting her and everyone else. Always getting in the way. He had thought that over the years he... he had thought... he had thought that maybe he was starting to mean something to her.

 _I guess I was wrong,_ he thinks with crushing despair, tears slipping down his cheeks. She thinks of him as the desperate fool he is. A man who has always yearned to be wanted, to be loved. He should have learned after his second failed marriage that it wasn't meant to be. That he should have saved himself the heartbreak and stayed Black Pawns famous playboy millionaire. But Kate's siren call had been too strong and now he's drowning.

God he's a pathetic excuse for a man. Sitting here alone, crying, wallowing at his own misfortune and self pity.

He jumps when his phone starts vibrating on the desk beside him. He picks it up to see Beckett's face flashing on the screen. He clenches his jaw in anger before hitting the ignore button and tossing it, rather harshly, back on his desk. He knows that he is going to have to face her at some point, has to face the reality of everything, but he simply can't right now.

Sighing heavily, he leans back in his chair, tilting his head against the soft leather and closing his eyes.

He remains like that for several moments, letting the silence engulf him as he tries desperately to think of anything else.

The creaking of the stairs breaks the heavy silence and he sits up to see the hunched, hesitant form of Kate Beckett standing in his office.

* * *

 _Thoughts?_

 _ **Tumblr & Twitter: thebazilelord**_


End file.
